Tuesday, July 12, 2011

We Need a Makeover

The paragraph that is highlighted is the one that Starford marked. I got 9/12.

If you’ve looked outside at lunchtime and morning tea, you would have seen that there are hundreds of kids squashed, and bunched up on our small concrete areas. With the fields closed there is just not enough space for everyone to play. So Rm 17 have decided that we want a makeover on the boring courtyard between our class and the hall. We have surveyed people in the school and they think it is a great idea. Plus the courtyard is just a waste of space, and we do have proof of this. No one likes playing here, but we are determined to make sure they do.

With the fields closed during these cold winter months,the crowded conditions in the breeze and on our small concrete areas can end up with little kids scared and trampled over. If we can make our courtyard a place that more people want to play in, it will help with this problem and little kids can have their own playing area.

One of the main reasons that people don’t play in our courtyard is that it is just plain ugly. There’s grass growing around the fountain, the drain is muddy and blocked, the concrete is very uneven and the walls are dirty because people wipe their grubby hands on them It is just not an enticing and attractive place. Plus there is not very easy access on to the decks because of the annoying rails.

You may have realised that as kids get older you don’t see as many of us playing on the playground and running around. Normally a quiet place to relax, talk and be with your friends is all we need, we have found evidence of this through our surveys. If we renovated our courtyard this would be a great place for us older kids.

If we had a makeover on our courtyard, it wouldn’t just be good for Rm 17, but it would help with the rest of the school as well. PLEASE consider our solution.

1 comment:

  1. I think it would be boring if i was at pt england and I didn't have enough space to play in. Love how you use heaps of interesting words in your story's.
    can't wait to i see you.
    love Terixxx