I waited anxiously watching people stream into the bowling alley. We all stood still in two lines like an army of ants. Some children started coming into our aisle. Shouts of excitement filled the air. Everyone went quiet as the first little girl collected her ball and got ready to take the first shot. Please don't hurt me! I shut my eyes and waited for the first big hit!
"Incoming" I shouted to the rest of the pins.
The bowling ball accelerated as it came closer and closer to us. Smash! It collided into our formation . But it only hit nine of us. Wobbling a bit I managed to stay upright, feeling happy to be the last man standing. I had escaped a big bang on the ground.
But the little girl, she was the opposite. She had thought she would get a strike. Her face was crumpled with dissapointment.
Well done Litia. I liked how you've written from the bowling pin's point of view. You've used very descriptive language in your story. Keep up the wonderful writing and I look forward to seeing what else you will post on your blog.
ReplyDeleteMiss Lavakula
"Incoming!!" I love it! Well done Litia. You had me feeling very nervous while reading your first paragraph. You've succeeded in making your reader feel what you think a pin may feel like. I think the way you have written this piece is very clever. We should have entered this into the recent writing competition. What do you think? I'll keep an eye out for another competition, I'm sure another will pop up soon. Malo lava Litia, manaia tele lou tusitala.
ReplyDeleteMrs Tele'a
Hi Litia,
ReplyDeleteI love this piece of writing, you have very cleverly taken on the persona of the Pin! Well done. I think you'd better get on of your big sisters to help you out with posting on your blog while your arm is in a cast!
Keep up the great thinking and writing.
Love Mum
Hey Litia,
ReplyDeleteMy name is Willow. Will you be my new pen pal? I am writing a letter for you right this second. I hope we can be friends.
PS What happened to your arm?
Hi Willow,
ReplyDeleteOf course I'd love to be your pen pal? I can't wait to get your letter.
Do you have a blog too?
My arm is broken so at the moment it is in a bright green cast.
Litia